Blog post by Dave Elias, friend, coach, and mentor:
How can I even put into words what I remember of Jordan? His life and the impact on those he met cannot even be described through written or spoken words….but I’m going to give it a shot. I know many of the memories I’m going to describe here are personal to me but I hope they can give whoever is reading this a glimpse into the person that Jordan was.
Originally during the “Honouring Jordan’s Journey” memorial service on December 16, 2017 when I was asked to share my memories of Jordan, I had a list of things I wanted to say but much of what I said was almost “spur of the moment”. Now that I have a chance to sit and think about what to write…the words are harder to come by.
When I think of Jordan, I think of a big hug. Not just any hug, but for many of us, that awkward hug that you have to give someone when they tower over you and your face inevitably is directly in their chest. Yet somehow, even though he was tall and skinny, his hugs made you feel loved. To me, that sums up much of Jordan’s impact; he made you feel loved and that he cared.
I met Jordan through being best friends with his older brother Brenden. Brenden and I have known each other since around Grade 1 at Chinook Winds in Calgary and I have probably known Jordan just as long and he was always part of the group. My first really solid memories of Jordan were of the times when Brenden, Lindsay, Amy, and I would be hanging out, Brenden’s old Nokia phone would ring and Jordan would be on the other end of the phone, asking Brenden “What should I eat?” or wondering what he should be doing. Brenden usually told him to eat some cereal. Jordan looked up to Brenden so much and wanted his opinion on everything before doing it. He was his example and the person he wanted to make proud, more than anyone. I don’t doubt that Brenden knew this and I know he took the role of older brother seriously.
I remember playing volleyball and basketball with Jordan through the years. When I was in Grade 12, we didn’t have enough guys for our volleyball team and had to bring up quite a few Grade 9’s to play, including Jordan and Chantz. When Brenden, Jordan and I all got to the front row as attackers, we would call ourselves the “All-Star Front Row”. By this time, Brenden and I were captains of the team, had played together for years but we were always so hyped up for when Jordan would make a big play or a big hit, because we wanted him to succeed. He was like a little brother to me and seeing him succeed made me so proud, and I can’t even imagine how proud Brenden was of his accomplishments. I remember after every big play, big hit, or big block, Jordan would look to Brenden for approval…to sort of ask, “Did I do good?” Brenden would always give him the reassurance that he did and I could see the joy in Brenden at the success of his not so little brother.
Brenden, you were his mentor and his idol. He wanted to be like you and he cared what you thought about him and he just wanted to make you proud. I have no doubt that have always been proud of him, your little brother….little “Peewee”. It’s amazing how little “Peewee” became this 6’4 giant with insane athleticism and became the biggest of our “All Star Line”.
Jordan’s character was always on display in sports, it’s an area where it may have taken some time for his skills to catch up with his growing frame, but once it did….we witnessed something amazing. I remember Brenden and I coached Jordan and Chantz in basketball when they were in Grade 9. It was the championship game and we were down by 1 point with around 10 seconds left in the game. We had a timeout and told everyone to get the ball to Jordan and then get out of the way…Jordan was going to take the last shot. Brenden and I pulled Jordan aside privately and told him, “Whatever you do, don’t pass the ball to Gary.” Gary was this tall kid in Jordan’s class who would have “happy feet” and travel every time he touched the ball. We felt that if the ball went to Gary, we would lose for sure. Sure enough, we get the ball to Jordan, they triple team him, and he does exactly what we told him not to do. He passed the ball to Gary who was wide open under the basket. For the first time all year, Gary caught it, didn’t travel and made the shot to win us the championship. When we asked Jordan about it, he just said, “He was open. It was the right play to make. I trusted him.” That was Jordan. He wanted to do the right thing and trust people and set them up for success. I know that even if Gary had traveled or missed the shot, Jordan wouldn’t have gotten mad. He would have shrugged his shoulders and moved on. He believed the best about everyone.
I had the chance to coach Jordan through much of his high school years and I remember in basketball, he had a reputation. He would block 10-20 shots in a game sometimes. Video game type numbers. Our defense would let people by and then he would just block the shot each time. Each time he blocked a shot, same thing when Ashley would block a shot when I coached her, they would do the Dikembe Mutumbo “finger wag” as if to say, “not in my house” and it became his signature move. He would block a shot, then wag his finger saying “no” and our entire bench would do it too. I still have coaches today coming and asking me about Jordan because they remember this shot blocking player who would then dunk on them in the game. He was something special and everyone knew it. I was lucky to be along for the ride.
When he was in Grade 12, I remember we were again in the championship game. Up by 1 point with around 7 second left and shooting a free throw. I told them, if we miss we have to get the rebound. Jordan looked at me and said, “If we miss, trust me, I’ll get it.” Our player misses the shot and all I can see from the bench is these immensely long arms going up and grabbing, his skinny frame falling to the ground, players piled on top of him, and Jordan’s arms holding the ball out of reach. This happens right in front of me and the bench and he looks at me and says, “I got it.” He is always that guy that I could rely on to make the big play but not be cocky about it. He was a superstar in sports but never acted like it. He didn’t treat anyone on the team differently or expect to be treated like a star. When he showed up late to practice, he just began running his extra sprints as punishment without being asked.
Off the court, I remember getting to know Jordan as a friend and as a person. As great of an athlete as he was, he was an even better person. Always the first person to notice if someone was upset and needed a hug and always there to make someone laugh. At the Bell’s house in Calgary, we would sit on the porch in the backyard and Jordan would play guitar. I think he only knew a few chords but would make up hilarious songs that would talk about his parents, his friends, or his siblings. “Jannie and Curty….live in…the country…” or something along those lines. I can still hear it in my head and it makes me laugh.
While at their house, we would get together and play Halo and Jordan would camp out, hide around, and chase after people, all while narrating his own actions. Or how if we went over to their house to watch “The Amazing Race”, Jordan would have to wear his “race hat” that had ear flaps on it while he watched. We would hear from upstairs, his mom yelling down to us, “IT’S ROLO TIME!!!” which always meant that she would be bringing down some Rolo ice cream for us. When I think back on these memories….I realize how he was family to me, along with the rest of the Bell’s. Losing him is losing a part of myself and there are no words to describe the void it has created.
After Jordan left for Walla Walla University, we didn’t get to see each other much. In reality over the past 10 years it has become less and less but each time I saw him, he was still the same Jordan. We would meet up when he came back to Calgary and hang out or if I was in Kelowna and saw him out there. As we all do, we tend to drift apart as life goes on and it makes me sad to think that I wasn’t able to be there for him when he needed it.
When I look back on the times I spent with him, I can still hear his voice. It’s clearer than I would have thought. I can still remember his mannerisms, some of the random phrases that he would use, his dance moves (you know the one where his knees are slightly bent and his hands are over his head spinning), I remember his laughter and the gentle soul that he was. These memories are just small moments that I have lodged in my brain and I hope to never lose them and to never lose what Jordan mean to me as a friend…as a brother.
I want to end off with a story that I recall about a serious conversation that I had with Jordan when he was still in high school. We were using MSN Messenger and it was probably around 1:30 in the morning and his [email protected] address came up in a message to me. We chatted for a little bit and then he asked me a question, “What if I’m not good enough to go to heaven?” I was taken by surprise by this because it isn’t something Jordan would normally talk about. He asked again, “What if I’ve done too many wrong things in life, and that God won’t want me anymore?”
I don’t remember my exact response to him that night and I wish I could. Now that I’m looking back on it, I wish I could respond to him right now to let him know.
Jordan,
If God knows you as well as I do…..you are good enough. You are more than good enough. You are such an incredible young man, with a caring heart, and a love for your family and friends. No matter what wrong you have ever done, no matter what mistakes you’ve made, you are better than many of us. If you could only see the people who have gathered today to remember you, to know the impact you’ve had on us…you would never question if you were good enough. I will tell you now without any hesitation that you are more than good enough. You cared about others first and loved unconditionally. What I wouldn’t give to hear one of your lame jokes or get an awkward hug where my face is looking you directly in the chest. I wish to have just one more conversation so I can tell you that you made a difference and that world is a better place because you were in it. I wish I could have done more to help you. Rest easy now my friend, my brother….I miss you and you are forever a part of who I am today.
David Elias is currently the Vice-Principal (K-12), Chinook Winds Adventist Academy in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.