December 1, 2019
Hello my dear friends:
I’m thinking of you both today on this 2nd anniversary of Jordan’s parting. I don’t believe that he intended to leave you both so abruptly but we know he was ready for his pain to end. Take time today to think of the qualities that endeared you to him and maybe just one quality that drove you nuts ):
Right now, I’m in Banff visiting my friend. We talked about the loss of my friend’s precious daughter who died at age 17. I asked my friend if she can project her daughter past the age of 17 years and she said, “No, despite how I’ve tried”. It reminded me of what you have said, Curtis, that you cannot project Jordan past the age he was when he passed. So I guess our lives do stop on this earth at the age we die, even when children or young adults.
I’m still in profound awe Janice that I was the one who spent those first hours of deep anguish with you in Calgary upon learning the news of Jordan’s death. It was a sacred time even though I still feel that I stumbled through the day with you before you boarded your plane bound for Kelowna.
So on this day know that I so admire how you’ve each dealt with this tragedy of losing Jordan and how you’ve come together as parents in your grieving too. But I also am fully aware that there have been moments of deep despair where there seems nothing can comfort you. The world is upside down when a parent loses a child.
Please remember that you gave Jordan life, love, and full rich experiences. What more can any parent do?
Sending love and hugs,
P.S. Perhaps you already know this quote above but it is poignant.
Reading this letter of love and suppport from my dear friend and colleague, Lorraine Wright, reminds me of a David Whyte quote about friendship:
“But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self; the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”
Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words